Well I completely respect your emotions. Feel sorry for what I happened to you. I would answer this in parts.
1) What if one day you come to know if Mr.XYZ (assume him to be virgin) who didn't post "are you a virgin" question to a girl, marry her and give her all the happiness in the world. And one day he comes to know she has an affair with some stud Mr.ZYX?
2) We always divide people basing on gender, Men and women. Why don't we understand one point, We are all human beings .When will we divide right or wrong on the basis of people and not on the basis of gender, rather giving the most cliché answer Men are bad ,women and good or vice versa . Good or bad is everywhere. Men are cheaters (accepted), does that mean women are very pious. Point here is why is that Men are always on the receiving end .Majority of the population of men are hypocrites (accepted).But there are honest men who are been cheated by women in lot of ways. When women probably here this, they (women) make the most annoying answers, yeah just one or two that’s it or rare cases. I’m not supporting men (being one) here .I have some idiot friends who are non-virgins, Don’t have a job or blah blah blah,and market them self as the Rama just for the sake of good dowry and a beautiful(vary to person to person).At the same time I also have some friends(girls) who does the same(demands might be different this time). Assume that ,both are wrong .Lets say women is not a virgin and boy ask her the same question “ Are you a virgin” .I’m sure most of them will answer I’m virgin. Let’s take another issue; of late most of the girls consume alcohol. But do girls really volunteer and tell straight that they do. you folks being open minded may say up-front. But will most of the girls accept the fact they don’t consume alcohol.Another scenario :How many non-virgin girls will volunteer them self and tell a boy that she is promiscuous and I’m not playing a blame game here, but I’m saying that this is a world of hypocrites and to be honest no one is 100% correct. Just because you believe that you are good , doesn’t make you the most wonderful person in the world. How many commit a mistake and genuinely accept it and how many forgive them. Either of the cases something called ego crept in .If we accept that it’s my mistake I will be tainted bad or if we accept their apology, I will be give her or him a chance. Personally I don’t think I’m 100% genuine and correct, but I understand What I’m good at and what I’m bad at ,and best part is I let people know about my pain points and good points .I also put efforts to change myself to be a better person. Does that make me ideal...The answer will still remain “NO”. India see lot of male politicians ,does that make all the female politicians genuine .Lord Seetha and Lord Rama are considered as the best example of being two wonderful people on earth. I’m not sure what mistakes Rama made, but I’m sure Lord rama was always tainted to be unjustified towards seetha .Lord Krishna was a flirt. I accept both of them are wrong .Now does that mean women from all the generations are 100 % genuine? I might be deviating from the topic. Personally if you would ask me, everything in the world has a reason. May be in your case, family who asked you the question could possibly be a victim in their previous experience. May be Someone from their family did not ask the question (“are you a virgin”?) and married the girl and later by some means, they came to know she isn’t (very much possible) or some women from the same family might have posted the question and the guy is just taking it to you(very possible ,isn’t it). I always believe that no one is wrong until they are caught. I also lie, curse, yell but I also love, participate in noble activities, help people. Kaun dhood ki dulha hai? I think as a person (both men and women), if they believe they are at least 70 % good (consider some good things for yourself), I consider them as ideal. This is an absurd world, where what I feel right might not be correct in your case or vice versa .We stay in the world of hypocrisy and we all are very diplomatic.
I always wish to be 100 % true when I talk to a girl whom I like or whom I wanted to marry. As long as the girl hear good things about me, things are fine, when she suddenly hears something very bad, she become so paranoid and, she decide that he is not the right guy.
3) This is a very paradoxical world. We always say that looks are not the most important thing in the world. But we always end-up demanding for the most handsome guy or girl. Guy doesn’t look nice, let him be the most wonderful person in the world .The answer would be No. The girl is beautiful, she had relationships before marriage, who cares, I will take an extra lakh as dowry. We always debate we haste caste, but we always end up marrying a guy or a girl from the same caste, Why?We always say I don’t have feelings on you, so I cannot accept you, but end up marrying a stranger. I have no clue, from where they get those feelings in a night. We always speak about Justice, someone commits a mistake, we curse, bully and when we commit the same mistake, we become very oblivious to it. Point here is we stay in ambiguity where everybody is right and everybody is wrong as well. Girl don’t like the guy to ask “are you a virgin “, but will it stop her asking him how much do you earn in a month or doubt his job and sometime ask his character.
Evadi frustration vadidi ..lols
Swathi, do you trust men? , Yes -I’m happy , No –Why ?,coz You have your reasons(you might agree to it ,I might not).
And Do I trust women? Yes-you are happy, No-Why? I have my own reasons (you might disagree to it, I might not).
You cannot accept a virgin unemployed, but you will accept non virgin CEO. (Not true in all the cases).
I’m sorry for blaming girls, but this is reality, nothing in the world is correct. You want an ideal person to be your friend, life partner, but you will never wanted to be changed and they should be accepted for what you are (presuming you to be ideal).
Bottom-line: We live in a society of protocols, everybody have their own constrains in life and we go by it .Just because you feel that this point is right it doesn’t make it correct, it might not be true in my case (Sorry for being repetitive). So if you don’t think you don’t like being asked “are you are virgin “question, dump him as simple as that and if the next guy don’t ask this question he might ask you another annoying thing. Dump him as well. Some other guy some other point, dump him as well. But how long? At one point you will have compromise or you will never marry at all. So if you ask me for a suggestion (up to you if you want to perceive it). Write down what u need in your man and if he satisfy more than 70% of your criteria or condition, go ahead and opt him and stay happy J
I would love to be challenged and would love to be proved wrong by anyone who commented till now or would comment. Comments and feedbacks will be accepted constructively.