Friday, November 20, 2009

How to deal with Back stabbers!!

How to Deal With Backstabbers

They might say they're your 'best friends' , but the moment your back is turned, they lie about you to others. No one wants to be hurt in this way, but how do deal with them?. Perhaps the following tips can help.

All backstabbers share a common denominator; they all want something from you.

Whether it is money, homework, a house to trash, your computer, your style, practically anything, varies from person to person.
Be aware of your surroundings. If you have a bad feeling about somebody, listen to your instincts!

Pay attention to red flags.
If somebody betrays you, don't trust that person again without extensive consideration.
If the other person doesn't have friends of his or her own, there may be a reason. Perhaps other people know something that you don't.
If someone is mean to you one minute and nice to you the next, there is definitely something wrong.
If someone is too aggressive or tries too hard to sell you on something, he or she is likely setting you up.
Trust your real friends. They're here to help you.
Notice the other person's work ethic. If he or she is lazy and irresponsible, stay away from the person as far as anything that requires hard work goes. If you work hard, he or she will use you in a heartbeat!
Notice how he treats things you care about. For instance if you really care that your room is clean, and after you've explained this to him he still comes over, throws his backpack on the ground, takes his shoes off in the middle of the room and so on; this means he doesn't really care about you.
Try to detect from an early stage what the backstabber is interested in sucking from you.
If the backstabber persists in pestering you, either ignore him or tell him dispassionately that you do not want to do (insert activity here). Be polite, but extremely firm. If they detect a weakness in your firmness, they will try as hard as they can to puncture it.


Get away from these people as soon as possible.

Don't hesitate to ask questions. If somebody seems shady in any perspective, ask them about it but pay close attention to their answers. More often than not, they will try to pull one over you.

There is a difference between friends and acquaintances. This means that even though he might be fun to talk at in classroom or at lunch, he might not be the kind of person you would like to hang out with after school.
Don't rely on the backstabber for anything; even the tiniest of things. In this way, you will avoid situations where you owe him/her a favor. This technique takes patience, practice and goes completely against your better nature. The backstabber will get the hint and move on the next sucker/victim.
Also do not tell them any secret that you want kept hidden, as they will tell it to another one of their "friends" the moment it will gain them something.
Treat him/her like you would any other snake. Be polite when in his/her area but keep to the path, and maintain your distance.
Make sure not to reduce to his level by saying untrue and bad things about him behind his back (this is a huge no-no!) as it will only spur him to action against you.
Try to avoid revenge. This will create more problems. But if you simply have to get even, remember that the best revenge in this case would be hanging out with your best friends right in front of their face.

Never let the backstabber know that he/she has gotten to you.
Do not underestimate his power. Try not to offend or hurt him, but be merely polite and refuse him anything he asks that you are not willing to give.
Do not get angry when he backstabs you. Realize from the start it will happen eventually. Don't form any deep relationship with him. He'll suck you dry.
And don't confront him, just smile knowingly and take action to prevent further damage.
Be careful when you talk to backstabbers, they might be recording you.
Don't talk to the backstabbers friends, they could be spies.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Worst Flood in 100 Years claims 210 lives in Karnataka, heart goes out to the families of the victim.

At least 210 people have been killed in Andhra Pradesh and neighboring Karnataka due to floods resulting from heavy rains since Wednesday (1st Oct). Andhra Pradesh is facing the worst ever floods in its 100 years, as 60 per cent of Kurnool district was submerged on Friday leaving thousands homeless and stranded without food and water. Nearly two lakh people have been evacuated to relief camps in the worst-affected districts of Kurnool, Mahabubnagar and Krishna district.
"This is a never-before-seen situation. Never in the past has the Krishna basin witnessed such floods and inflow of water into the dams. I am urging the people in the low-lying areas not to take the threat lightly. Move out to the safer places and cooperate with the officials," said the State Revenue Minister Dharmana Prasad Rao in Hyderabad.
Army boats and Air Force helicopters Friday began to rescue hundreds of people marooned at several places. Thousands have been rendered homeless. Over 40,000 houses have been damaged. Chief Minister K. Rosaiah said the flood situation was grim and army personnel have been deployed for rescue operations. Six helicopters have been pressed into service to rescue people. While four helicopters are being used to airlift the flood-hit in Kurnool district, two choppers were deployed in Mahabubnagar district.
Army boats and Air Force helicopters Friday began to rescue hundreds of people marooned at several places. Thousands have been rendered homeless. Over 40,000 houses have been damaged. Chief Minister K. Rosaiah said the flood situation was grim and army personnel have been deployed for rescue operations. Six helicopters have been pressed into service to rescue people. While four helicopters are being used to airlift the flood-hit in Kurnool district, two choppers were deployed in Mahabubnagar district.
Preliminary first hand report from volunteers
Seva Bharati volunteers have already started launching relief camps in affected towns of AP & Karnataka and now food is being provided to the people. As per the preliminary report received from volunteers for below 2 districts the situation is as below:

Kurnool District:
Affected Data
- Total 8 Revenue Mandals - About 6 lakh people
- About 1,00,00 acre crop - Kurnool town 50% affected (2.5lakh people) - Mantralaya - famous temple of Raghavendra Swamy completely immersed in water.

Palamoor District (Mahabubnagar District):
Affected Data
- Total 2 Revenue Mandals - About 2 lakh people - About 5,000 acre crop - 130 small lakes got cut due to floods causing at least 130-150 villages completely sub-merging in water.

A time for action is here again. Let us donate generously for the relief and rehabilitation of the affected people many of whom have lost everything overnight. "The wise person understands that his own happiness must
include the happiness of others."

Online transfer of funds can be done to Seva Bharathi A/c No: 630501065297, ICICI Bank,Himayat nagar Branch, Hyderabad. You can also draw a cheque/draft in the name of Seva Bharathi and post/courier it to below address

H No:3-4-228,Opp Jain Mandir
Lingampally, Kachiguda, Hyderabad 50007
Mob: + 91 9701226830, +91 9849262868

[Please note that all contributions to Seva Bharathi are tax-exempt under 80G.]

If you are interested in joining the Seva Bharathi team at ground zero, please send email to

Him I call a Mahatma whose heart bleeds for the poor – Swami Vivekananda

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Trying To Prove Men Wrong, Doesn’t Make women Right !!

Well I completely respect your emotions. Feel sorry for what I happened to you. I would answer this in parts.

1) What if one day you come to know if Mr.XYZ (assume him to be virgin) who didn't post "are you a virgin" question to a girl, marry her and give her all the happiness in the world. And one day he comes to know she has an affair with some stud Mr.ZYX?

2) We always divide people basing on gender, Men and women. Why don't we understand one point, We are all human beings .When will we divide right or wrong on the basis of people and not on the basis of gender, rather giving the most cliché answer Men are bad ,women and good or vice versa . Good or bad is everywhere. Men are cheaters (accepted), does that mean women are very pious. Point here is why is that Men are always on the receiving end .Majority of the population of men are hypocrites (accepted).But there are honest men who are been cheated by women in lot of ways. When women probably here this, they (women) make the most annoying answers, yeah just one or two that’s it or rare cases. I’m not supporting men (being one) here .I have some idiot friends who are non-virgins, Don’t have a job or blah blah blah,and market them self as the Rama just for the sake of good dowry and a beautiful(vary to person to person).At the same time I also have some friends(girls) who does the same(demands might be different this time). Assume that ,both are wrong .Lets say women is not a virgin and boy ask her the same question “ Are you a virgin” .I’m sure most of them will answer I’m virgin. Let’s take another issue; of late most of the girls consume alcohol. But do girls really volunteer and tell straight that they do. you folks being open minded may say up-front. But will most of the girls accept the fact they don’t consume alcohol.Another scenario :How many non-virgin girls will volunteer them self and tell a boy that she is promiscuous and I’m not playing a blame game here, but I’m saying that this is a world of hypocrites and to be honest no one is 100% correct. Just because you believe that you are good , doesn’t make you the most wonderful person in the world. How many commit a mistake and genuinely accept it and how many forgive them. Either of the cases something called ego crept in .If we accept that it’s my mistake I will be tainted bad or if we accept their apology, I will be give her or him a chance. Personally I don’t think I’m 100% genuine and correct, but I understand What I’m good at and what I’m bad at ,and best part is I let people know about my pain points and good points .I also put efforts to change myself to be a better person. Does that make me ideal...The answer will still remain “NO”. India see lot of male politicians ,does that make all the female politicians genuine .Lord Seetha and Lord Rama are considered as the best example of being two wonderful people on earth. I’m not sure what mistakes Rama made, but I’m sure Lord rama was always tainted to be unjustified towards seetha .Lord Krishna was a flirt. I accept both of them are wrong .Now does that mean women from all the generations are 100 % genuine? I might be deviating from the topic. Personally if you would ask me, everything in the world has a reason. May be in your case, family who asked you the question could possibly be a victim in their previous experience. May be Someone from their family did not ask the question (“are you a virgin”?) and married the girl and later by some means, they came to know she isn’t (very much possible) or some women from the same family might have posted the question and the guy is just taking it to you(very possible ,isn’t it). I always believe that no one is wrong until they are caught. I also lie, curse, yell but I also love, participate in noble activities, help people. Kaun dhood ki dulha hai? I think as a person (both men and women), if they believe they are at least 70 % good (consider some good things for yourself), I consider them as ideal. This is an absurd world, where what I feel right might not be correct in your case or vice versa .We stay in the world of hypocrisy and we all are very diplomatic.

I always wish to be 100 % true when I talk to a girl whom I like or whom I wanted to marry. As long as the girl hear good things about me, things are fine, when she suddenly hears something very bad, she become so paranoid and, she decide that he is not the right guy.

3) This is a very paradoxical world. We always say that looks are not the most important thing in the world. But we always end-up demanding for the most handsome guy or girl. Guy doesn’t look nice, let him be the most wonderful person in the world .The answer would be No. The girl is beautiful, she had relationships before marriage, who cares, I will take an extra lakh as dowry. We always debate we haste caste, but we always end up marrying a guy or a girl from the same caste, Why?We always say I don’t have feelings on you, so I cannot accept you, but end up marrying a stranger. I have no clue, from where they get those feelings in a night. We always speak about Justice, someone commits a mistake, we curse, bully and when we commit the same mistake, we become very oblivious to it. Point here is we stay in ambiguity where everybody is right and everybody is wrong as well. Girl don’t like the guy to ask “are you a virgin “, but will it stop her asking him how much do you earn in a month or doubt his job and sometime ask his character.

Evadi frustration vadidi ..lols

Swathi, do you trust men? , Yes -I’m happy , No –Why ?,coz You have your reasons(you might agree to it ,I might not).

And Do I trust women? Yes-you are happy, No-Why? I have my own reasons (you might disagree to it, I might not).

You cannot accept a virgin unemployed, but you will accept non virgin CEO. (Not true in all the cases).

I’m sorry for blaming girls, but this is reality, nothing in the world is correct. You want an ideal person to be your friend, life partner, but you will never wanted to be changed and they should be accepted for what you are (presuming you to be ideal).

Bottom-line: We live in a society of protocols, everybody have their own constrains in life and we go by it .Just because you feel that this point is right it doesn’t make it correct, it might not be true in my case (Sorry for being repetitive). So if you don’t think you don’t like being asked “are you are virgin “question, dump him as simple as that and if the next guy don’t ask this question he might ask you another annoying thing. Dump him as well. Some other guy some other point, dump him as well. But how long? At one point you will have compromise or you will never marry at all. So if you ask me for a suggestion (up to you if you want to perceive it). Write down what u need in your man and if he satisfy more than 70% of your criteria or condition, go ahead and opt him and stay happy J

I would love to be challenged and would love to be proved wrong by anyone who commented till now or would comment. Comments and feedbacks will be accepted constructively.


Vaka Ravi